Fish With Jewels

Click. Fitch O'Connell lowered his camera to look down at the image.

"Well?" Amara Tanner called from where she was posing by the flowers in the school's garden. Her strawberry-blonde hair was loose, and her curls fluttered as a gentle wind picked up. "Are they any good, Fish?"

"Let's try one more time."

Amara nodded as she resumed her pose leaning against the fence. "I'm ready."

Fish raised his camera again, but then he paused as the clouds drifting lazily across the blue sky snagged his attention. There was a magnificent whale swimming there.

"Fish?" Amara's voice drew him back to attention. Fish focused the camera on Amara, and he clicked away.

"You two should be getting ready for class!" a stern voice made both of them jump. "Put that camera away, and you—put your hair up and fix your uniform!"

"But Ms. Irving, the bell hasn't rung yet," Amara protested half-heartedly. Nonetheless, she buttoned the collar of her shirt and pulled her hair up into a ponytail.

While Ms. Irving's attention was on Amara, Fish raised his camera to the sky. The cloud whale was still there, floating along. Click. Fish put his camera away just as Ms. Irving turned back to him. "Run along, you two."

"Did you get a good picture of me?" Amara asked under her breath as they walked toward the entrance of the academic building.

Fish nodded. "I'll send it to you when I get home today."

"Perfect."

✦ ✦ ✦

"Wait, wait," a shrill voice called from the side of the classroom. "I didn't study for the test!"

Fish felt someone poke him in the back, and he turned around to find Amara with a sour look on her face. "Look at her go again," she said hotly. "Kate gets on my nerves sometimes, really. She complains that she hasn't studied, but then goes ahead and gets the highest grade in the class. Fish, you need to beat her one of these days."

Fish turned back to the pile of textbooks on his desk. "I'm trying. She's just too powerful."

"She makes all of us look bad whenever the teacher curves the grade," Amara said under her breath.

"Let's just worry about ourselves right now."

A few minutes later, they were instructed to put all their books away so the teacher could pass out the test. Kate finished first, and Fish frowned at her back as she handed her test to the teacher and waltzed out the door. Fish himself was the second one done. He left the classroom but lingered outside for Amara.

When Amara emerged, the two of them started down the hallway to the cafeteria. "How did it go?" Fish asked.

"B, probably," Amara replied. "And of course Kate finished first." She pulled out her phone as they entered the cafeteria, and Fish helped her balance her tray as they got in line. "I don't believe it," she said after a moment. "My brother is coming back."

"John?"

"Yeah." Amara was frowning slightly now. "My dad just let me know. He's definitely not happy about it."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Well, I'm jealous of him, obviously." Amara finally put her phone away as they reached the long table where food was being served. "He managed to get away from this sorry town. I didn't think he'd ever come back."

It was Fish's turn to frown. "I don't remember John at all. Did he go to school here with us?"

Amara nodded. "He went to school here. But given that you and I only met two years ago, he was already out of here by then. I just don't get why he's coming back. The only person he cared about here was me."

As the two of them walked over to find a table, Fish paused. "You didn't tell him about us, did you?"

Amara blinked as she shook her head. "No."

"He's not the type to hold grudges, is he?"

"Not that I remember . . ." then Amara groaned. "That's right—he follows me on all my social media! But you can't be the reason he's taking time off college. Even if it is, I already posted that we're still friends after breaking up."

Fish gave Amara an exasperated look. "Do you have to post everything about your life online? The more details you have up, the more reasons your brother has to strangle me."

Amara shifted in her seat.

Fish felt his face burn. "Do your parents follow you online?"

"Of course they don't," Amara replied quickly. "And for the record, I never put your name on any of my posts. Besides, it would be silly for my brother to come all the way back here just to get even with you for breaking up with me. If you hadn't broken up with me, in the next few days, I'd be the one breaking up with you. There's no hard feelings. And look at us—we're still getting along fine."

"I know there's no hard feelings. We both do, but does your brother know?"

"If he really is back because of that, this is my fault," Amara said, thunderstruck.

Fish shook his head and glanced around to make sure there were no teachers nearby before lowering his voice. "Don't feel bad about it. We thought we would try, and then found out we weren't very good at it."

Amara buried her face in her hands. "Don't mention it. I'm still embarrassed thinking about it."

There was an awkward silence as the two of them ate their lunch. When they were done, Amara took their trays to the stack piling up at the clean-up station, and then the two of them were walking out to the yard.

Amara brushed invisible specks of dust from her skirt and blazer. "Let me tell you, I was wearing my new earrings this morning, but got told off by Ms. Martin. She claimed that they weren't uniform, but look at them, are they really that offensive?"

Fish glanced at the little green stones Amara was holding out. "You got called out before when you tried the purple ones, remember?"

Amara sulked as she pocketed the earrings again. "They were magenta, and that was a few months ago."

The two of them sat down at one of the benches and looked at the tall stone wall surrounding the school. "What are you doing after school?" Fish asked after a while.

"Helping my parents clean the house and put away the boxes we've been storing in my brother's room, I suppose."

"Do you want me to tutor you today?"

Amara let out a sigh. "Might as well. We've put it off long enough. Any longer and my parents will get suspicious."

Fish looked up at the sky surrounded by the walls. There were walls everywhere.

"Look at them," Amara said as she eyed their classmates walking around and chatting with smiling faces. "You'd think they don't want to leave this place in the slightest."

Fish shrugged. "Maybe they just don't feel trapped like we do."

When the bell signaling the end of the day finally rang, Fish and Amara went to collect their bicycles from the rack. The sky was a clear blue, and the grass a vibrant green. The two of them biked in silence, and the paved roads slowly turned into dirt ones. They biked past the farmland and the empty freeway, cutting through the otherwise green world. Amara had pulled her hair out of its ponytail, and her strawberry-blonde curls bounced in the wind.

They arrived at Amara's house about twenty minutes later, and Amara stuck her tongue out as usual as the neighbor's dog barked wildly at them through the window. Amara climbed off her bike and unsnapped her helmet. Fish looked up at the house for a moment as Amara stepped onto the porch and unlocked the door.

"Hi, Mom," Amara called as she stepped inside.

"Amara," Amara's mom said by way of greeting. "Oh, and Fitch is here too."

Fish dipped his head to Amara's mom. "Hi, Mrs. Tanner."

"Are you feeling better now, dear?" Mrs. Tanner asked from where she was using a feather duster to clean the hearth. "Amara said that you were quite ill for the past few weeks."

Fish nodded. "I'm much better now."

"That's wonderful, dear."

Amara led Fish upstairs to her room and set her backpack on the floor. She pulled off her blazer jacket and tossed it onto her bed. Fish stood in the doorway, watching her for a long moment. Just being back here was awkward enough as it was. He glanced over at Amara's bed and the stuffed bears sitting on the blankets. He had gotten the feeling they were judging him when he had fucked Amara on the bed in front of them, and their glassy black eyes were definitely still judging him now.

Amara followed Fish's gaze to the bed, and her face turned beet-red. "Don't mention it, don't mention it. I'm still trying to forget." Still flustered, Amara pulled up the folding chair at her desk and motioned for Fish to take a seat. "Let's focus on studying."

Fish quietly took a seat. It had been a month since he had been back at Amara's house, and a month and five days since Amara had asked Fish to be her boyfriend. Fish liked Amara, or at least he thought he did, so he had agreed. But it had just gotten awkward for the both of them. Holding hands had been awkward, kissing had been awkward, and having sex had been the most awkward.

That night, Fish had been tutoring Amara as usual. Both Amara's parents happened to be out, and halfway through the tutoring session, Amara had turned to Fish and asked him if he'd like to sleep with her. Fish had said yes, and that was when things got awkward. First, Amara had leaned in to kiss him (Fish later commented on Amara's breath smelling bad, and Amara had shot back, saying kissing Fish was like trying to kiss a tree). Since their attempt at making out had failed, Fish had suggested they skip it, to which Amara agreed. Both of them had undressed in silence, and when Fish was finally inside Amara, her twin bed felt far too cramped to be comfortable.

Feeling awkward, he ended up suggesting that Amara try getting on top of him. But lying on his back on Amara's bed, Fish was all too aware of the teddy bears observing them, especially when he kept slipping out of Amara.

The two of them had still tried kissing and holding hands that week, but there was something that didn't feel normal about it, and ultimately left both of them wanting to return to the way things were when they were simple friends. It had been the first time for both of them, but the awkwardness when they had to face each other at school the next day made Fish feel confident that there wouldn't be a second time.

"Hey." Amara's voice brought Fish back to the present. "I think I understand this page now. You can quiz me."

"Alright."

When they finished studying, Amara leaned back in her chair to stretch, but then paused when her phone buzzed. "Oh lord," Amara said as she read the message. "It's my brother. He just landed at the airport."

Fish shifted in his seat. "I guess I should leave, then." He paused for a moment to glance over Amara's shoulder at the photo on John's contact. "What does your brother look like in case I have to steer clear of him?"

"Here." Amara tapped on the contact picture to enlarge the image. The young man in the picture was wearing the same navy blue school uniform as Fish and Amara, and his short hair was slicked back from his face. "This one is from a few years ago, since he looks like this in all of his other photos." Amara opened her camera roll and showed Fish a different picture of John. This photograph appeared to have been taken at church. Even though John was dressed in a clean white collared shirt and slacks, he was slouched in his seat with a bored expression on his face. "He's the tall and skinny type," Amara added as she put her phone away.

"I remember you telling me he was a model student."

"He did do pretty well in school. But like everything else here, he couldn't wait to leave it far behind."

Fish rose to his feet and stuffed his textbooks back into his backpack. "I'll head out."

Amara walked him to the door. The sun was beginning to set now, and Fish pulled on his bike helmet. Amara waved. "See you tomorrow. And don't forget to send my photo!"

"Of course. See you tomorrow." Fish set off down the dirt road. The sun was dropping behind the grassy fields now, and he stopped off at the convenience store on the way home to buy something for dinner. The store was empty save for a young man with long hair sitting at the tables by the window.

Fish didn't pay him any mind at first, but he paused for a moment as a burst of color caught his eye. The young man was holding what appeared to be a sketchbook, intently coloring the page in blues and whites. It was clouds, Fish realized.

After picking out a sandwich, Fish fumbled with his wallet at the counter, then took one of the empty seats. He had only started to unwrap the sandwich before he became aware of the eyes watching him.

"Fitch O'Connell?" the young man asked.

Fish paused as he slowly turned to look at the man. He had set his sketchbook down, and there was something a little too familiar about the strawberry-blond hair . . . "John Tanner?"

The young man dipped his head in acknowledgment. "You must be Amara's friend."

Fish nodded, still getting over his surprise. The man sitting in front of him was nothing like the pictures Amara had just shown him of her brother. John had straight hair that fell to his shoulders, too many piercings to count through his ears, and wore a black leather jacket and baggy jeans. If Fish had to use one word to describe John, "cool" would be it.

John held out his hand for Fish to shake. "I'm John."

Fish shook John's hand. "Fitch." Then he paused. "We've never met before. How did you know who I was?"

John smiled faintly. "Amara mentioned your name before, and I had some free time, so I found the digital copy of my yearbook from when I was still at Southview High. I found you in Amara's year, and I'm pretty good at recognizing faces."

"Are you an artist?" Fish's eyes went to the dried paint under John's fingernails.

John blinked but then laughed, nodding. "I was cleaning up my paints this morning before my flight. I gave what's left of them to my roommates."

"Isn't school still in session? What are you doing all the way back here?"

"I'm back because of my sister, of course. One, I don't think my parents were planning to let her leave this town, and two, I heard she broke up with you."

"It just wasn't working between us." Then Fish trailed off. "What do you mean her parents won't let her leave this town? We're both seniors. We've already applied for college."

"What I mean is I don't know if they're actually planning to let her go to college. That's the main reason I'm back. And if I found out you were bad to my sister, I'd haunt you for a few weeks as well while I'm at it."

"I—" Fish started, not sure how to respond to that. "We tried, and it didn't work out the way we hoped it would, that's all."

John raised a brow. "So the two of you were serious?"

"Yes," Fish said, caught off guard. "I—I mean, well, yes, we slept together, but Amara was the one who initiated it—"

John was staring at him now, and Fish wasn't sure if this was a good time to try and make a run for the door. His thoughts were interrupted as someone snickered from behind him.

Fish turned to find the young man behind the cash register watching them. "Shut up," Fish and John said in unison. The man went silent as he pretended to ignore them.

Fish slowly turned back to John. It seemed like John had gotten over his initial surprise because he just shrugged. "I hope the two of you used protection." There was silence for a moment in which John returned to eating the salad he must have bought before Fish arrived.

"So you're not going to haunt me for the next few weeks, then, right?" Fish finally asked.

John just laughed. "Don't worry."

Fish unwrapped his sandwich, and the two of them ate in silence for some time.

John finished his salad, packed away his sketchbook, and rose to his feet. "I guess I'll head out first." He slung his backpack over his shoulder and, in seconds, vanished out the door.

Fish absently stared out the window at the parking lot as he finished his sandwich. The sky was dark by the time he found his bike outside and snapped on his helmet.

The house was silent when he got home, and Fish went straight to his room. He uploaded the pictures from his camera to his computer and began clicking through the ones he had taken of Amara. After flipping through them a few times, he sent all of them to her. He wasn't sure which one she would like the best.

Fish was about to turn his computer off when he remembered the picture of the clouds he had taken that morning. He pulled it up, and the image glowed back at him from the computer screen. Fish stared at it for a good minute before downloading it onto a flash drive. The next time he was at the convenience store, he would print it out.

Fish turned off his computer and pulled his textbooks out of his backpack. But even as his books lay open on his desk in front of him, the sketchbook and cloudy sky John had been drawing came back into his mind. He had been too far away to get a good enough look. Fish sighed and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. It was time to study until he was too tired to keep his eyes open.

✦ ✦ ✦

When Fish met Amara in front of the school the following day, Amara looked more disheveled than usual. "Fish!" Amara waved him over.

"What is it?"

"My brother just got back last night," Amara said as if she still couldn't believe it herself. "My mom nearly had a heart attack. I was surprised too. He grew his hair out and is dressing like a 'city kid.' At least that's what my dad said when he was ranting to my mom. Anyways, my dad refuses to talk to him. My brother ignored his calls for an entire year, after all. We all parted on good terms, but . . ." Amara let out a sigh.

"I actually ran into John at the convenience store," Fish said as the two of them walked through the hallways of the school.

Amara blinked in surprise. "What?"

Fish opened his mouth, but the bell rang.

Amara gave him a look. "You have to tell me everything later."

✦ ✦ ✦

At lunch, Fish filled Amara in on his encounter with John.

"So he is back because of me," Amara said when Fish was done talking. "My parents . . ." Her face fell. "I know they've always been opposed to me leaving this town . . ."

Fish frowned. "I know your parents are very traditional, but will they really not let you go to college?"

Amara just stared down at the table between them. "I don't know. What I do know is that they're not happy about my brother. They pushed him hard to be their ideal son, and he went along with it. I think he was just waiting for the first chance to leave." Then Amara looked up at Fish. "So he isn't mad at you?"

Fish shook his head. "No, he was chill about it."

"Will you come over again today to help tutor me?" Amara asked timidly. "I don't want to face my parents alone."

"Sure. Beats spending time around my parents."

Amara let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Fish."

It was Fish's turn to sigh. "Don't be. I'm used to it."

"You miss her, don't you?" Amara said quietly.

"Yes." A silence fell between them. Shortly after Fish had befriended Amara, his grandmother had passed away. Fish used to spend his evenings at his grandmother's house. She had been the one who had brought him up and was more of a mother to him than his birth mom was. His grandmother had always been interested in taking photos, so Fish had saved up enough money to buy a good camera. The two of them had learned about photography together, but now Fish only had the photographs his grandmother had taken in a folder on his desktop as a memory. Even though they were already on his computer, he couldn't bring himself to clear them from the camera either.

"Thank you for sending me the photos yesterday," Amara finally said, mercifully changing the topic. "If you had been the one taking everyone's yearbook photos, maybe they would sell better."

"I'm sure there are already enough people buying them just to laugh at each other's pictures."

Amara shuddered. "I almost cried when I saw my picture. I don't know what that photographer had against me."

After the final bell rang, Fish and Amara biked to the latter's house.

"Hi, Mom," Amara greeted her mother as she stepped inside.

"Hi, Mrs. Tanner," Fish said as he entered the house after Amara.

"Hello, Fitch, dear," Mrs. Tanner said with a sigh. "Oh, Amara's probably told you that my son is back. Do avoid him if you can. The last thing I'd want is for you to be influenced by him."

"Right," Fish said.

Fish followed Amara up the stairs, and as they stopped in front of Amara's room, Fish glanced at the door opposite Amara's. Today, the normally closed door was open, and John sat on the floor, painting his nails with black polish.

Amara looked over at John's room, too. "Where did you get that?"

John blinked as he looked over at the two of them in the hallway. "At the convenience store, of course."

Amara let out a sigh. "Mom won't even let me paint my nails."

John just smiled knowingly before going back to painting his nails. "She doesn't have to know right away."

Fish spent the next hour helping Amara with her homework.

There was a knock on the door, and the two of them turned to find John standing in the doorway. "Any plans for dinner? I was thinking of going to the diner. I can treat the two of you."

Amara jumped to her feet. "That sounds great! We'll join you."

Before long, Fish was sitting across from Amara and John at a booth. The red plastic was splitting even more than the last time Fish had eaten at the diner, and he ignored it as he looked over the menu.

"Have you been here before?" John asked as he set his own menu down.

Fish nodded. "There are only two diners within walking distance."

John nodded as well. "Yeah, that's right, isn't it. Can't say I've missed this place. But the other one only sells burgers, so I'll take it."

Amara stood up to place their orders, and John passed her his credit card. Now that he didn't have the menu to look at, Fish wasn't sure where to look. John was sitting across from him, and staring at the table was plain weird, so Fish looked out the window.

Amara returned shortly. After setting the number she got from the counter on the table, she slid into the booth next to her brother. "People are looking at you," she told him quietly.

"I know," John said lightly. "I've been getting looks ever since I got off the plane."

"I think that table has been watching you since we stepped inside," Amara pointed out with a nod toward a booth on the opposite side of the diner. A group of teen girls in the same uniform as Fish and Amara were giggling among themselves as they snuck glances in John's direction.

It didn't take long for one of the girls to slip out of the booth and giddily walk over to their table. "Hi," the girl said to John. She was pink in the face. "My friends and I just wanted to tell you that you're really hot."

John just blinked as the girl turned and scurried back to her friends, giggling and blushing.

Amara gawked at them for a moment before turning back to her brother. "Has that ever happened to you before?"

"A few times on campus."

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Amara asked eagerly.

John laughed at that. "I'm single."

Their food arrived shortly, and Fish transferred the fries from his plate onto Amara's. John had ordered a salad, to which Amara wrinkled her nose at. "Salad, really?"

John just shrugged. "I like it."

Amara picked at her waffle. "Do you want any? Fish thinks it's too sweet."

"I'll pass. It really is too sweet."

Amara sighed. "You guys are no fun."

John turned his attention to Fish. "Do you go by Fish? Or is that just my sister giving you nicknames?"

"I go by Fish. Fitch sounds like the name of a football player."

"Did you ever play football? You don't strike me as a football player."

"My dad made me play in elementary school. But after I broke my arm, that was the end of it."

When they finished eating, they walked out to the parking lot. "Thank you for treating us to dinner," Amara thanked her brother.

A smile flickered across John's face. He opened his mouth to respond, but he had to duck a moment later as a can flew past his head. The three of them whirled to find a group of teen boys jeering at John. "Long hair and painted nails?" one of them called. "What are you? Some sort of failed rocker turned drug addict?"

Fish bent down to pick up the empty can that had rolled to his feet. He had the sudden urge to hurl it back at the boys. John must have sensed it, too, because he put a hand on Fish's arm. "Just ignore them," he said under his breath. "We don't need to stoop to their level."

Fish could feel everyone watching him as he crumpled the can in his fist and dropped it in the dumpster along the wall of the diner. The three of them turned to continue on their way.

"We don't want to see you around!" one of the teens yelled after them.

"Are people always this awful to you?" Amara whispered once they were back on the road.

"Those kids were quite mild, actually," John said. "Besides, not everyone's awful. That girl complimented me earlier, remember?"

"Why can't they mind their own damn business?" Fish said darkly.

John sighed at that. "I guess it's just so boring around here that they don't have anything better to do than find people to pick on. Just ignore them. They just want a reaction so they can have another reason to attack you."

"They're students at our school," Amara said as she exchanged a glance with Fish. "Hopefully they didn't see our faces clearly."

Fish shoved his hands into the pockets of his blazer.

"If we do see them at school, Fish, don't do anything impulsive."

Fish opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again. He nodded. Amara had a point. When aggravated, he had a tendency to let his emotions get the better of him and act impulsively.

The three of them walked in silence back to the Tanners' house. Fish retrieved his backpack before bidding them goodnight and biking home. The house was dark when Fish unlocked the door. He went straight to his room, but instead of turning the lights on, he walked over to his desk and silently sat in the dark for a while.

✦ ✦ ✦

Fish was more absent-minded than usual at school the next day. When the weekend finally came around, he went to the convenience store to print the picture of the clouds he had taken. But when he entered the store, the young man normally operating the cash register was not there. Instead, the one standing there was no other than John Tanner.

"John?" Fish said in surprise.

John lifted a hand in greeting. "Hey, Fish." John was wearing the convenience store's uniform, complete with a name tag.

"You're working here?"

"Yeah. My parents aren't happy that I'm a city kid now. They aren't happy with me in the house either, so I might as well try to earn some money while I'm here. What are you here for today?"

"I'm here to print a picture," Fish explained. Then, remembering John's sketch of the clouds, he added, "Uh, I can show it to you once it's out."

Within minutes, Fish was back at the cash register with the photograph.

"Is that a whale in the sky?" John asked in amazement as he examined the photo.

Fish nodded. "You can see it too."

There was a light in John's eyes as he looked to Fish. "Would you mind if I took a picture of this? I want to paint it."

"Sure, go ahead. I could even send you the original if that would be better."

"I'll give you my number, then."

Fish had just put his phone away when the glass doors to the convenience store opened. Even though it had been dark that other night in the parking lot, Fish recognized the teen. The teen must have recognized John, too, because he froze. "It's you!"

John just raised his brows.

The teen seemed to get over his shock because he pointed at John. "Are you a gay? What's with the nail polish?"

"Are you going to buy anything?" Fish asked.

The teen turned on his heel and marched out the door in response.

John just shrugged when Fish turned back to him. "I don't take it to heart."

"So then you're . . .?"

A smile tugged on the corners of John's lips. "Am I gay? I wouldn't consider myself gay. But then, who said I'm straight, either? Anyways, when I finish the picture of the cloud whale, you should come over and see it."

✦ ✦ ✦

"How's everything going at home?" Amara asked softly. Fish was sitting with her at one of the tables in the school yard, and the clouds drifted along lazily in the sky above.

"My dad is still looking for a buyer for my grandmother's house," Fish said darkly. "It's funny that he thinks someone is going to want to move all the way here to the middle of nowhere. And he doesn't want to lower the price either. At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if her house stays empty forever."

Amara sighed. "Our nowhere town smack in the middle of nowhere."

Fish took his camera out of his backpack and absently flipped through his grandmother's photos. "I think I'll visit her today."

Amara put a hand on Fish's arm. "I can go with you."

Fish just nodded.

After school, the two of them biked to the cemetery together. Along the way, Amara stopped by the side of the dirt road to pick a bouquet of flowers. Soon, they were standing in front of Fish's grandmother's gravestone in silence. A gentle wind rustled through the grass, and Amara knelt down to place her bouquet of flowers in front of the stone.

Fish bent down next and pulled the photograph of the cloud whale from his jacket pocket. This he set down next to the flowers. Fish blinked away the dampness stinging his eyes.

On the way home, Fish found his mind wandering. He parted ways with Amara, and it was still light outside by the time he arrived at his house. It was silent as always, and he went straight to his room. Having forgotten to open his blinds in the morning, it was dark inside, and he reached for the light switch. Light flooded the room, illuminating the piles of boxes spilling out of his closet and stacked against the walls. These were his grandmother's belongings. When he heard that his dad didn't have any intention to keep any of them, Fish had taken it upon himself to box as many as he could.

The towers of boxes had accompanied him for the past two years. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with them, but he knew that at least they were safe in his room.

Fish spent the next few hours doing homework. It was dark outside by the time he finished. Aftering opening his window to let the gentle night breeze in, he reached for his camera and took a seat on his bed to flip through the pictures. Once, twice, three times.

The next thing he knew, his phone was ringing, and he was waking up to light flooding in through the window. Fish groggily blinked at the time. He scrambled to his feet a moment later, packed his backpack, and bolted out the door.

He was almost an hour late to school that day, and Amara gave him a worried look when he arrived at the classroom. Fish just slid into his seat as the teacher scolded him.

"Are you alright?" Amara asked him at lunch. "This isn't the first time this month you've overslept."

"It's not like I'm doing it on purpose."

"I know," Amara said. "I'm not blaming you either. I'm your friend, and as your friend, I'm worried about you. Seriously, though, have you considered trying to talk to someone?"

"You know as well as I do that my parents won't pay for therapy for me."

Amara frowned faintly. "You can always talk to me, but I'm not a therapist." Then her eyes widened. "What if I ask my brother? He's a psychology major—he might be able to help you."

Fish sighed. "I don't have much money to spare."

Amara offered him a smile at that. "What are you talking about? Let me talk to my brother. It's not like the two of you haven't met before. I'll work something out."

✦ ✦ ✦

Fish stood outside the diner. He had arrived early and pulled out his phone to check the time yet again.

"Hey," John's voice said.

Fish hastily put his phone away as John appeared around the corner. "Hey."

"Hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"It's fine, I only got here a few minutes ago."

The two of them entered the diner and ended up at the same booth as they had the last time they dined together with Amara.

"What would you like?" John asked as he scanned the menu. "I've been craving some Thai food, but out here in the middle of nowhere, salad will have to do. I'll treat."

"What? But you treated last time. I have money. Besides, this time I'm technically the one who invited you here."

John just smiled. "Oh? Amara told me you don't have any money."

"I don't have much money," Fish amended. "But I can pay for food."

"Next time, then. Anyways, do you know what you want?"

"I guess the cheese omelet."

John nodded and stood up to place the order. When he returned, he brushed his strawberry-blond hair out of his face. Fish's attention was drawn to his earrings again, and John must have caught him looking because his smile had returned. "I have nine on each ear."

"That's pretty sick."

"Right? That was one of the first things I did when I got to the city. It started with one, but then it's like I got addicted to them and kept going back for more. I might even add another on each ear if I get the chance." A waiter arrived at their table with two glasses of water. Once the waiter was gone, John turned back to Fish. "I guess we should get down to business, then. I don't want to seem like I'm bombarding you with questions, so I'll start with me. I'm John. I'm an artist. Uh, I like salad. I'm twenty years old. I have a horrible sense of humor, and my parents are definitely disappointed in me. That's pretty much it."

Fish just stared at John for a moment before he couldn't suppress his laughter anymore.

John gave him an awkward smile. "I'm not much of a talker either, believe it or not. Your turn now."

"Alright. I'm Fitch. I go by Fish. I'm a senior at Southview High. I'm eighteen. I like photography."

John nodded encouragingly. "Amara says you've been uncharacteristically late to school recently. You've also been impulsive, too?"

"Yeah."

"You mind if I ask some follow-up questions to try and get a better sense of your situation?"

"Go ahead."

"Are you close with your parents? Are they concerned about this?"

Fish let out a dry laugh. "Not quite. My parents and I are practically strangers."

John paused. "I see. Do you have anyone to talk to about how you feel?"

"There's Amara. I would spend a lot of time with my grandmother, too, before she passed away."

"I'm sorry," John said quietly.

"It's been almost two years now. I'm slowly getting used to it."

Their food arrived at the table, and they continued to talk as they ate. When their plates were empty, John looked over at Fish. "You can correct me if I'm wrong, but this is my understanding. Your grandmother's passing was an event that you still haven't recovered from. I get it. That kind of loss sticks. So now, when you're tired or stressed, it strikes you harder, resulting in impulsiveness and unusual behavior."

"That sounds about right."

"Have you been dealing with a lot of stress recently? Or just not been sleeping well?"

"I don't think so?"

"If it is stress, I'd recommend more exercise, yoga maybe, masturbation too."

Fish blinked and looked around the diner to make sure no one had overheard them. "Wait, what was that last one?"

John just smiled knowingly. "There's nothing wrong with it in moderation. Nearly everyone does it. My sister does too."

"I didn't need to know that—wait, how do you know that?"

John picked at his salad. "Our rooms are right across from each other. I overheard her a few days ago. My parents were home and would have been very angry if they found out, so I turned up the volume of the music in my room." There was a long pause before John spoke again. "Do you happen to have your camera with you? Maybe you can help me take some pictures."

Before long, Fish was standing outside in the grassy field with John. John smiled and posed for the camera as Fish focused the lens on him. Fish paused for a moment as he looked at John through the camera.

"How is it?" John called. "How about you give me a countdown?"

Fish nodded. "Ready? Three, two, one."

After switching poses, John walked back over to Fish to look at the pictures. "These turned out nice."

"I'll text them to you later."

✦ ✦ ✦

"Was my brother able to help at all?" Amara asked the following day during lunch.

"I'm not sure. Maybe a little bit?"

"How about you try again next week?" Amara suggested. "I don't think one meeting alone can solve everything."

"Alright. If John is okay with it."

In a matter of days, Fish was meeting with John again after biking home with Amara after school. The door to John's room was open, and Amara knocked on the doorframe. "Fish is here."

Fish looked over Amara's shoulder. John had set up an easel and canvas in the room, and his hands were splattered with paint as he greeted the two of them with a wave. "You came just in time. Look, I'm just putting the finishing touches on the cloud whale."

Fish admired the painting and the way the brushstrokes raced over the canvas. "Wow." He stood there in the doorway, taking in the painting. John hadn't just copied it from the photograph: he had captured the very essence of it. Fish's eyes drifted to John himself, but John had returned to the painting.

"I think it's pretty impressive, too." John gestured to the chair off to the side of the room. "Have a seat."

Amara nudged Fish into the room before turning to go back to her own room. Fish took a seat and watched as John continued to work on the painting. "You don't have work today?"

John shook his head. "I only have work full-time four days of the week. I was off after lunch today. So, how are you?"

"Fine. Busy worrying about finals."

"It's that time of year already? I guess so. Are you getting ready for college, then?"

"Yeah."

"Where will you be off to?"

"East Coast."

"What a coincidence. I'm on the East Coast, too. What will you be studying?"

"Photography."

John turned to Fish to give him a thumbs-up. "I approve of that." John set his brush down and began to clean up the paints.

"It's a great painting," Fish said in admiration. "Are you self-taught?"

"Pretty much. I just followed tutorials online in the beginning."

"What are you going to do with it?"

"I usually make prints for my own collection and see if any local businesses want to purchase the original. Maybe one of the diners will pay me for it."

"I have my camera on me," Fish said suddenly. "Would you mind if I took a picture of the artist with the masterpiece?"

John laughed. "Sure." John walked over to stand next to his painting as Fish got the camera ready.

Click.

✦ ✦ ✦

That night, Fish sat at his desk, going through the photographs he had printed out at the convenience store on the way home. There were the pictures he had taken of Amara in front of the school and the landscapes he had captured on the bike rides home. Eventually, Fish got to the pictures he had taken that day of John. He looked at the pictures. He put them down. He picked them back up.

Fish set the pictures down again and agitatedly ran his hands through his hair. And for a while, he sat there in silence with the photographs in a neat stack on the table in front of him.

✦ ✦ ✦

The next time Fish was at Tanners' house, he knocked on the door to John's room. John opened it and beckoned Fish inside.

Fish blinked at the painting on John's easel. "Isn't that the cloud whale?"

John's eyes glittered. "Take a closer look. It's a different rendition."

Fish stepped forward to see the painting better. While the colors were the same as the original, this whale was rounded and had a set of large, cartoon-like eyes.

John twirled his brush in his hand. "Cute, isn't it?"

Fish nodded. "I wouldn't have guessed that you're the kind of person who likes cute things."

John laughed at that. "I love cute things." He then pointed to an open sketchbook lying on his bed. "Wanna have a go at creating something? There should be a pencil there somewhere."

Fish picked up the sketchbook. "Can I flip through it?"

"Go ahead."

Fish sat on the floor, looking through John's drawings. The majority of them were still lifes, with the occasional cartoon animal tossed in. "These are really impressive." Fish turned to a blank page and picked up the pencil.

John glanced over at him. "I find drawing to be meditative. The key is not get frustrated if things don't turn out the way you want them to. All the lines will eventually be covered with other lines. Have fun and don't take it too seriously—the same way life should be."

As the weeks went by, every time Fish would visit John, he'd sketch in the sketchbook. And between their meetings, John would color them in. Soon, Fish's favorite part of the day easily became spending time in John's room. There was something about the way John added color to Fish's mediocre sketches that would make them look much more impressive than Fish remembered.

Today, the two of them were taking a drive to the art store, since John had been wanting to look at oil paints. The closest art store was a good half-an-hour drive away, and Fish wasn't sure what had made him want to come along for the ride.

Fish watched John for a moment. The windows of the car were open, and John drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as they drove down the open freeway. The grass stretched infinitely in a sea of green around them, and the sky was free of clouds.

"Amara seemed a little distant at school yesterday," Fish finally said. "She won't tell me why either. Do you know if she's okay?"

John sighed at that. "She got into a fight with our parents that ended in her storming out of the dining room in tears. She started telling me about what classes she's interested in taking in the fall, but my mom cut in, saying that Amara won't be going anywhere." He paused for a moment. "Your name was brought into the conversation, too."

"Me?"

John offered Fish a sideways smile. "I think my mom would like you and Amara to get together. Both my parents want Amara to find a husband and settle down here instead of flying out to the big city for college. At one point, my mom was telling her, 'Your classmate Fitch is a nice young man.' Amara got mad and told her that the two of you are friends and nothing more than that."

"Have you dated before?" Fish asked after a long moment.

"Yes," John said simply. "I dated someone my first year in the city. Didn't last. He wanted something casual. I was looking for something more serious."

"Oh." Fish found himself gripping his camera harder than before.

At the art store, Fish was quieter than usual as he followed John through the aisles of paints.

In the parking lot outside, Fish found himself asking, "You're going back, right? To the city, I mean."

John looked back at him. "Yeah. I can't stand it here. It's beautiful, don't get me wrong. But it's like a painting. There's more to the world than what's depicted in such a small canvas. It's beautiful, but even the wide openness is confining."

"When?" Fish asked softly.

John was quiet for a moment. "Soon. And I'm going to do everything I can to take Amara with me."

John seemed to notice Fish's shift in mood, because on the car ride back, he asked, "Everything alright?"

"I'm fine," Fish told him. "Just a little tired."

Just then, John looked up at the sky. "Look, do you see that?"

Fish followed John's gaze to the clouds forming in front of the blue canvas. "You can see the shapes too?"

John's eyes sparkled. "What do you think that one looks like?"

"I see a tree."

"A tree? It's clearly a broccoli floret."

Fish nearly laughed at that. "I think you're just hungry."

John was smiling too now. "Guilty. You got me."

"Want to catch something to eat, then?"

"Let's do it."

✦ ✦ ✦

That night, Fish sat alone in his room, looking through the pictures he had taken at the art store. As he flipped through them, he found himself thinking back to his conversation in the car with John. Have you dated before? It had been a casual question. So why had he felt the way he did when John told him he had? Looking through his pictures, Fish found himself back at the whale cloud. Silently, he found himself wondering if, when John went back to the city, would the whale cloud would go with him?

✦ ✦ ✦

At school, Fish stood in line for lunch with Amara.

"Are you coming over after school for another session with my brother?" Amara asked as they waited.

"No," Fish said. "John texted me this morning saying that he's busy today."

Amara sighed as she nodded. "Shall we pay your grandma a visit then instead?"

"Sure. I have some new pictures to show her anyway."

The following morning, Fish sent a text to John asking if today was alright to come over, but to his disappointment, John replied again that today wasn't convenient either. This went on for a week before Fish finally brought it up with Amara at school.

"I think your brother is avoiding me."

"What?" Amara blinked. "Why would he do that?"

Fish just shook his head. "I don't think I did anything to make him angry. He said he's busy again today, too."

"That's it," Amara said, crossing her arms. "Come over today. He needs to give you an explanation."

And so, after school, Fish and Amara biked to the Tanners' house. They took the stairs to John's room. The door was already open, and John stood in front of his easel with his back to them, painting a new scene of drifting clouds.

Amara cleared her throat before knocking on the doorframe. "Amara," John started as he turned around, but he trailed off as his gaze fell on Fish.

"Hi," Fish said awkwardly.

John looked away. "Hi."

"Go talk to him," Amara told Fish quietly. "I'll wait for you downstairs."

Once Amara left, Fish took a breath. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you?" John set his brush down. "I do think an apology is in order. I have been making up excuses and avoiding you. And I'm sorry."

"Why?" Fish asked again.

"Because I really like you," John finally said. "That's the problem."

There was a silence where the two of them just looked at each other from across the room.

"So that's how it is," Fish said at last.

John looked away again. "How about we pretend this conversation didn't happen? If you still want to, we can start up our sessions again next week. I won't avoid you anymore."

✦ ✦ ✦

That night, Fish lay awake in bed with John's words replying over and over in his head. Because I really like you. That's the problem. Fish rolled over. Why did it have to be a problem? The more Fish quietly thought about it, the more he realized that he was drawn to John, too. I really like you. This time, Fish buried his head in his pillow. He was confused, but at the same time, nothing had ever made more sense.

✦ ✦ ✦

The following week, Fish was visiting John again. Monday had gone a little awkwardly, but by Wednesday, the mood had returned to normal. The window of his room was open, and the easel stood off to the side of it.

"A bunny?" Fish asked once he stepped inside and carefully shut the door behind him.

John nodded as he skillfully worked on painting the fur. Today, John was dressed entirely in black, and he already had paint on his shirt. "It won't just be just any bunny." He gestured with his brush to the black cowboy hat hanging off one of his bedposts. "It will be a bunny with a cowboy hat. I like bunnies. After all, I practically live off rabbit food anyway."

Fish let out a laugh at that.

"Go ahead and try it on," John said as he returned to his painting. "I'm thinking of painting a cowboy next."

Fish put the hat on, and John gave him a thumbs up.

"So how's everything going today?" John asked as he tucked his brush behind an ear.

"Great," Fish answered honestly as he took a seat on the plastic chair John had put out.

John walked over to adjust the cowboy hat on Fish's head. There was something about John being this close that made Fish's pulse increase. He wanted to look at him, but at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to. So instead, he stood and walked over to the open window. John joined him by it, and the two of them looked out at the blue sky. The clouds made up a whole new world above the grass.

Fish looked back at John, who was still gazing at the sky. The light breeze was relaxing. Fish opened his mouth. He closed it again. Finally, he said, "You think clouds always look like something?"

John pondered the question for a moment before turning back to look at him with a knowing look in his eyes. "Only when you're looking for it."

Fish averted his gaze and returned to his seat.

John paused. "Is everything alright?"

Fish nodded quickly as he felt his face heat.

John turned to lean against the window frame. There was something almost conflicted in his eyes. "You do know I'm twenty, right?"

"Yeah."

"I just . . . You're still in high school. I just don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into anything."

Fish rose to his feet again. "John Tanner, I ain't a kid." He took a breath. "I—" Fish was sure his face looked like a tomato by this point. "I want to kiss you."

John hesitated. And for a moment, Fish was almost certain John was going to leave. But then John was moving again, closing the distance between them with each step. Legs suddenly unsteady, Fish sat back down. It took Fish a moment to register that John was now sitting on his lap, and his face was closer than before. John smiled faintly as he leaned in closer. "We're already like this. Might as well."

John met Fish in a kiss. It was short, and when they drew apart, Fish found himself smiling. John was smiling too, and Fish leaned forward to meet him in a second kiss. It was slow at first, but quickly intensified. Fish's heart was racing in his chest, and then he was almost gasping for breath as John's tongue playfully slipped into his mouth. When John finally drew away, Fish was breathing heavily. The cowboy hat was hanging on its string around his neck now. It was impossible to think straight.

John's face was flushed now, too. "You're not a bad kisser."

"You seem pretty experienced yourself," Fish said breathlessly. Fish was hyper-aware of everything in the room as John ran a long-fingered hand through Fish's hair. He could feel his touch on his scalp. "What—what happens now?" he managed to get out.

John paused. He was still sitting on Fish's lap, and Fish's hands had subconsciously found hold on his waist. "That's a good question. What do you want to do next?"

"What do you normally do next?"

John's smile was back. "I don't know. I've never actually made it past this point before."

Fish blinked. "Wait, really?"

John just nodded. "I've kissed a lot of people, but we never took it any further. There were two instances where I almost did, though. The first time was with a girl—I had her in my bed, but then we realized neither of us had any condoms. She wanted to keep going anyway, but I didn't think it was a good idea. She got mad at me, and that was the end of that. The second time was with a guy. He backed out before we went further. I'm not in a rush, though. I'll find the right person one day."

Fish held John's gaze. He searched his eyes. "I really, really, like you."

John averted his gaze. "I—"

"Fish," Amara's voice called. "Do you have a copy of the homework assignment from yesterday? I want to compare my answers."

Both of them jumped, and Fish looked at the door in disappointment. John climbed off him, and Fish quickly took off the cowboy hat still hanging around his neck. "I'll find it for you," Fish called back. He tried his best to adjust his breathing as he riffled through his backpack. His state of mind was all over the place. When he found the paper, he opened the door and handed it to Amara.

"Thanks." Amara smiled as she turned to return to her own room. Then she paused. "Or maybe actually you could help explain it to me."

"Alright." As Fish followed Amara, he looked back at John. John hadn't given him an answer yet.

✦ ✦ ✦

That night, Fish looked at his phone. He had a message to John written out, and it glowed, unsent on the screen. I really like you. Would you be willing to try with me? Fish put his phone down. He picked it back up again. He needed to know the answer. But he also found himself hesitating. Finally, Fish hit the send button and instantly powered off his phone.

In the morning, he woke up to a single message glowing back at him.

If you're willing, I want to try, too.

✦ ✦ ✦

Amara wasn't at school that day, and Fish found himself a little absentminded as he went through his classes. There was something light and floaty in his step today, but at lunch while he was watching the clouds, he found himself pondering the question of whether this was actual love or if he was just looking for it. John was like a breath of fresh air for him. He was someone like himself who could see the shapes in the clouds. Amara would laugh and call him childish when Fish told her, but John understood. Fish hadn't realized he had been waiting for John until he met him.

After school, Fish's phone buzzed. His first reaction was that it was from John, but some of his excitement fizzled out when he saw that the message was from Mrs. Tanner. Fitch, dear, have you seen Amara? She left this morning, but we got a call from the school saying she didn't show up.

Suddenly worried, Fish hurried over to grab his bike. He had an idea of where Amara might be, and he biked until he reached the cemetery to find Amara sitting next to his grandmother's tombstone. "Hi, Fish," Amara said absently as she looked up at him. "I came to visit your grandma today."

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Fish asked softly.

Amara let out a sigh. She was wearing her school uniform, and her loose curls bounced in the gentle wind. "I don't want to stay here, Fish. I can't stay here. I want to be free. But my parents want to cage me."

"John is thinking of a way to take you back to the city with him," Fish told her.

"What's going on between you and my brother, anyway?" Amara asked. "I'm not stupid. I can tell something is up between the two of you."

Fish hesitated as he felt his face heat. "I kissed him."

Amara blinked. "You like my brother?"

This time, Fish didn't have to think about his answer as he nodded. "Yes."

Amara was quiet for a moment.

Fish shuffled his feet awkwardly, suddenly worried he shouldn't have told her. "Are you . . . jealous?"

Amara let out a giggle at that. "Jealous? No. I'm just thinking how my mom would react is she knew the 'good boy' Fitch was starting a relationship with my 'city kid' brother. I'm happy for the two of you."

"Your mom is worried about you," Fish said softly as he took a seat on the other side of the tombstone. "Shall we head back?"

Amara turned her nose in the air. "No, not yet. Let her worry a little longer."

And so Fish sat with Amara, silently accompanying her as they watched the clouds move lazily across the sky.

✦ ✦ ✦

Fish sat next to John in the driver's seat of the car. The windows were open as they drove down the highway. Grassy fields spread out on either side of them, and the tiny white flowers blurred as they sped past.

John had invited Fish to join him on a day trip, to which Fish had been quick to take him up on. In turn, John had rented a car and packed paints and canvas in the trunk. Fish had brought his camera and now held it up, leaning out the window as he tried to capture the clear blue sky above them.

"It's fun to get away sometimes, isn't it?" John called over the rush of the wind.

Fish nodded as he turned to John. John laughed as Fish snapped a few pictures of him. Fish had started the trip feeling light and carefree, but now in the back of his mind, five words seemed to replay themselves in his head: What happens when you leave?

Before long, they arrived at their destination. John parked the car at the base of the little hill before jumping out to retrieve his painting supplies from the trunk. The two of them then hiked up the hill. While John set up his easel and painted, Fish went around taking pictures of the many birds and insects.

The wind rustled the grass, and as Fish approached John and the canvas, the faint but distinct scent of the paint mingled with the freshness of the air. As John worked on his new painting of the clouds, from a distance, Fish quietly raised his camera to take a picture of John.

It wasn't long after that while Fish was taking a picture of the sky, a drop of water suddenly splattered on the camera lens. Fish blinked as another drop fell, and then another. "John," he called, "it's going to rain."

John quickly packed up his painting supplies, and the two of them sprinted down the hill as the sky opened up. John threw his supplies into the trunk, and then the two of them took shelter in the backseat of the car.

John pressed a hand against the window. "It shouldn't be raining for long. The sky is still blue."

Fish sighed. "I guess we just wait it out."

The world was silent save from the soft rain pattering away on the roof of the car. Fish wasn't sure what to say, so he remained quiet. The rain seemed to isolate the two of them from the world. And the last time he had been alone with John, the two of them had . . . Fish watched John. He watched the way his hair was still damp from the rain. "Ever since we kissed that last time in your room, I've been wanting to do it again."

John held his gaze. "You're sure about this, right? I don't want to be something you regret."

Fish nodded.

John was leaning forward, and then Fish met him in a kiss. Fish's hands were in John's hair, and John pulled him closer. Fish was left breathless, and his heart raced in his chest as they finally drew apart. The sound of the rain was louder than ever in his ears.

John's hand hesitated, and Fish shifted closer to meet him in a second kiss. He wasn't sure when or how it happened, but the next thing he knew, he was on John's lap. The same feeling he had felt that day in John's room was back, and it was as if a fire had been lit beneath Fish's skin. As John slipped his fingers under Fish's shirt and then into his pants, it became difficult to think.

Fish dropped to the floor of the car, fumbling with his own belt despite the crampness of the car. There was a mischievous look in John's eyes as he smiled. "Were you this excited when you were with Amara?"

"What do you think?" Fish looked up at him before taking John in his mouth.

John had one hand on Fish's shoulder, and the other he ran through his strawberry-blond hair. "Fuck." He was panting softly, and it just turned Fish on even more.

When John came, the taste of him lingered in Fish's mouth as he slowly sat up straight. His saliva mingled with John's semen.

John was breathing heavily as he stared up at the ceiling of the car. "Fuck."

Fish came quickly after, and when he was done, he pulled a couple of wet wipes from his bag. The rain pattered away. John continued to stare at the ceiling.

"I've never sucked anyone off before," Fish admitted once he had finished cleaning himself and zipped up. He quietly adjusted his shirt for a moment. "I hope it was okay."

John let out a half-laugh. "I've never managed to make myself feel this good with my hands alone."

Fish looked out the window where it was still raining outside, flushed. "Your parents don't get angry?"

"I'm careful." Then John paused. "I assume your parents got angry, then?"

Fish nodded as he turned back to John. "Yeah. I was caught once by my dad. He wasn't happy. It was always safer at my grandmother's house. My grandmother would always tell me at one point or another that she was going out to get some fresh air. At the time, I thought I was being clever and would hurry to the bathroom the moment I knew she was gone, but looking back, she knew all along, and there was always a pack of wet wipes in the bathroom."

John smiled faintly. "Your grandma sounds like she was one cool lady. Come to think of it, my dad caught me once as well. I had been watching something at the time too, and he spent an hour lecturing me on how, as long as I wasn't watching porn, it was okay to masturbate, but I wasn't buying any of it."

"Did he give you that save it for marriage crap?"

John let out a laugh. "Exactly. But I know for a fact that I don't want kids. I don't even know if I want to get married. And if that's the case, it would be such a shame to deny myself indefinitely. Oh, look, the rain stopped."

Once the two of them were outside, Fish looked over at John. The question What happens when you leave burned in his mind even more than before. "Summer is coming soon. What are you planning to do about the situation with Amara?"

John sighed, turning to look out at the grass rippling slowly in the wind. "I've been talking about it with her. Halfway through the summer, I'm planning to buy plane tickets and fly away from here. But you know, I'm thinking that the East Coast might not be the best destination for us."

"Where are you thinking of?"

John smiled faintly. "Oregon. Picture the ocean. The city. There will be a place for us somewhere in this world."

✦ ✦ ✦

Fish was over at the Tanners' house. He was sketching in John's sketchbook while John painted at the easel when the sound of raised voices from downstairs drifted up to them.

"Why can't you just respect my wishes?" Amara's voice cried. "This is my life!"

"And we want what's best for you!" Mrs. Tanner yelled back.

"But I've never been perfect. I'm only human. I want to live. I'm not a kid. I want to make my own decisions. I want to see what the world has to offer. Our one small piece of the world has become too small for me. I've grown up. I'm not a little girl anymore."

"Young lady, you listen to us. Those city kids will corrupt you."

"I don't care!" Amara was sobbing now. "I just want to get away from here."

There were the sound of footsteps marching up the stairs, followed by the sound of Amara's door slamming shut.

Fish and John exchanged a glance. Once Mrs. Tanner had left, the two of them quietly tiptoed across the hallway to stand outside Amara's room.

John knocked softly on the door. "Amara?"

"I already told you how I feel," Amara sniffled from the other side of the door.

John sighed. "It's John. And Fish. Would you like to go to the diner? Get away from the house for a short time?"

This time, the door slowly opened. Amara stifled again as she wiped at her eyes. "That would be great."

At the diner, John talked about his plan to fly to Oregon. "I think it's possible," John concluded after sharing all the details. "It's just, and I need to ask again, are you sure you want to leave everything behind?"

"Yes," Amara said at the same time the words "Could you take me with you?" escaped Fish's mouth.

John smiled softly as he turned to Fish. "Yes, but are you willing to leave everything behind?"

Fish nodded, swallowing hard. "Once I find new homes for my grandmother's belongings, I'll have no more attachments to this place."

"Do you have any ideas?" Amara asked.

"I'm thinking about donating them to people in need. I think that's what my grandmother would have liked as well. Every year around Christmas, she would go through her things and box what she felt she didn't need in the house anymore. And then she would give it away. She never asked for money. When I looked it up before, a church a couple of towns over is accepting donations."

John still looked a little worried. "It won't be easy, you know. The three of us will be completely on our own, and we'll have to work to support ourselves."

"I know."

John smiled faintly. "Alright. It's settled, then. I'll start putting things into motion."

✦ ✦ ✦

A week later, Fish was driving with John to the church. From the pictures Fish sent John of the boxes in his room, the two of them had determined they would need to make multiple trips. This was their first trip, and Fish looked out the window as the grassy fields blurred by. There was grass in every direction, and Fish could count the number of cars they had seen on one hand.

John had swapped his usual jeans and faux leather jacket for a button-down shirt and slacks. He had taken his earrings out, and his hair was tied back. When they arrived at the church, a middle-aged man was there waiting for them.

"I'm Mr. Fergus," he introduced himself. "I'm the one who responded to your email about the donations."

With the help of Mr. Fergus, the three of them were able to transport all the boxes inside within ten minutes.

"Thank you." Mr. Fergus turned to Fish and John. His expression was joyous. "You two are kind souls—in a time of need, these are exactly what people are looking for. God bless."

"God bless," Fish and John chroused quietly.

After transporting the last of the donations, Fish was back in his room. The tower of boxes that had been in his room had been reduced to just one. Before going to the church with John, Fish had spent a few days going through all the boxes. He had set aside his grandmother's more personal belongings as well as any photographs and other items that might be of use when he, John, and Amara started their new life.

Now, Fish was sitting on the floor of his room, carefully sealing the boxes with tape.

"What are you doing?"

Fish slowly looked up at the sound of his dad's voice. "Cleaning my room. Getting ready for college."

"Did you sell your grandmother's things?"

"I donated them."

His dad frowned. "Why didn't you sell them?"

"Grandma wouldn't have wanted money in exchange for her things."

"Your grandma isn't around anymore. It doesn't matter what we do with her belongings."

Fish tried his best to remain calm. "I believe in respecting the dead."

His dad turned away. "You'll need the money when you're on your own. While you're cleaning, pack your belongings away as well. Once you're out, I'll be turning your bedroom into an office."

That's fine, Fish thought bitterly as he stood up to retrieve his suitcase from the closet. I don't plan on coming back anyway.

When Fish was done sealing all the boxes, he began to pack away clothing. He made a pile of items that could be either sold or donated, and another of items to bring with him. When he was done, his room looked barren, and only then did it really seem to register that soon he would be leaving this place forever.

✦ ✦ ✦

The days after Fish graduated from high school seemed to stretch on. He spent his hours working in the kitchens of one of the diners, washing dishes. It was mindless work, but he got to look forward to spending time with John afterward. All that was on his mind was saving money and then leaving this town behind.

Before long, he was climbing into a taxi with John and Amara, taking off to the airport. The closest airport was an hours away, and in the early morning, the sun had yet to rise.

The three of them sat quietly. Amara sniffled softly. Leaving this way was purposeful so they won't get a chance for their parents to stop them. But it also didn't give them a chance to say a proper goodbye.

John had reassured Amara that once they landed in Oregon, he would send the email he had composed to his parents informing them of their decision. This morning had been a stressful one when they had snuck out with their luggage, but Fish had been there to help, and now they were on their way to the airport.

Fish didn't look back to watch the familiar roads disappearing behind them. Instead, he rolled down the window to watch the sky. John sat in the middle seat, and Fish's fingers brushed his. Amara was on the other side of her brother. Both of their presences made Fish feel a little stronger.

When they reached the airport, Fish found himself looking up at the sky for a final time. The sun had risen. He thought he could see the whale floating there in the middle of the wide blue sky, though he could not be completely sure.

✦ End ✦